Human beings have, from different standards, the need for a sense of belonging and this depends largely on how others accept us or not; family, friends and society, for example. “Acceptance”, a powerful word, is the action of being received as adequate and sufficient beings. As the mother of a young gay man, I have experienced firsthand the overwhelming force of acceptance. I have learned about how accepting and supporting our children helps them heal the pain caused by rejection, accompanies them in their self-acceptance and shields them against intolerance. My son told us about his sexual orientation at age 17, but my mother's intuition had already known his truth since he was approximately 13 years old. I then had four years to decide how I was going to respond or if I was going to react at all. I could have chosen between welcoming him with open arms or living in denial until I finally felt it was time to reach out, which would have only brought more heartbreak and conflict; I chose the first.
My son was born in an evangelical home, so he attended a Christian school for most of his life, where he was victimized by classmates and teachers given his sexual orientation. At home, on the other hand, his reality confronted and conflicted with what, until that moment, I had believed and considered my life principles. I faced the difficult crossroads of keeping my family together while maintaining my beliefs, until I realized that what I until then considered my values lacked the mercy and love that emanate from God. HE would never force a division between my son and me. I understood that God wants us to walk together in his light and serve as a shining light to others who are going through similar situations. God would never tell me to reject my son, in any case, it is institutionalized religion and society that impose the dogmas and norms that sustain prejudice, rejection and intolerance, not God.
The process was difficult for both parties, but it involved a lot of growth and learning. Before his eyes, the world was against him. They were times of great difficulty and loneliness for him because the only thing he sought was to be able to embrace his own being and ACCEPTANCE, that feeling that is received when you are seen and loved just as you are. What I wanted most was to go through life without fear of judgment and rejection. Now I think about his courage and bravery, it makes me proud and inspires me; our children can be our great teachers.
It took our family a while to unlearn what society had taught us regarding sexual orientation, but we chose LOVE. We choose to position ourselves in and from love, not only for our child, but for ourselves and to build from that space of love, instead of destroying. Something very special happens deep inside a human being when he accepts and receives himself as he is, without the need to hide or be ashamed. The walls of fear collapse, the sun shines, the rain stops and a rainbow appears, filling life with color and hope. The power of acceptance transforms lives and opens the doors of the heart to live authentically. Bring souls from the shadows to the light. The light our creator wants us to experience.
As we move through life, it is important that we look within, examine our motives, and intentionally choose a position of love for ourselves, and for the beings we interact with. It is love and only love that makes us hug and hug each other, look and look at each other, accept and accept each other with compassion and respect, beyond our differences.
Love is love and love always triumphs!
Claribel Bocanegra
Entrepreneur
