Infidelity has thousands of nuances and is permeated by an infinite gray. It constitutes multiple factors and is one of the most complex processes to assimilate, according to some experts, as much as grief itself. It is not as simple to define, as the RAE does: “Lack of fidelity”, and then, what is fidelity? According to the same institution, it is “loyalty, observance of the faith that someone owes to another person.” If we go that way, infidelity is, neither more nor less, the lack of loyalty towards the other. There is a couple in marriage, courtship or free union, but something is broken, and it is precisely that promise to trust each other that is broken. For Rogelio Argüello, one of the many psychologists who talks about the topic on the web, infidelity is an abuse or misuse of trust towards one another in a relationship.
Here is the “crux” of the matter: deception, betrayal. The statistics, reasons, and infinite causes to give rise to infidelity are very well supported: whether due to trauma, insecurities, boredom, disconnection, lack of attention, to calm a sexual instinct, to rekindle the flame, etc. . And it is very good that today in some countries women are more inclined to do so. That, why emotional infidelity, that women want much more sex and that it satisfies them. That, it is no longer just sexual or emotional infidelity. Today we talk, for example, about the micro, the physical, the online, the economic, the emotional, the shame, and who knows how many more. There are as many as we can imagine.
Figures and statistics galore. In the United States, a 21% of men have been unfaithful, while a 13% is left for women. In Spain, it is 42% for men compared to 31% for women. In Mexico, 30% in men and 13% in women. In Colombia, for example, 8 out of 10 men are versus 6 out of 10 women. Meanwhile, another more generalized study indicates that, for every unfaithful man, there are 2 women who are unfaithful.
It is very clear that it is neither new nor fashionable. It is very clear that there is some probability of becoming unfaithful in a percentage close to 30% of the world population. It is very clear that they have been unfaithful to us or could cheat on us at some point in our lives.
It is horrible to see that person who has been defrauded. In the most abrupt way he begins to question himself with questions that have no answers. He suffers from insomnia, loses his appetite, his self-esteem drops to the top floor of hell. He cries until there is no salt left in his tears, he writhes in pain and an immense hole suddenly appears in his soul. He was left heartless. It is not recognized. It's shattered.
And those pieces are what cause collateral damage. They mark their parents, grandparents, uncles, cousins, children and friends for life. They hate and make us hate, they scream and make us scream, they seek revenge and make us avenge.
Infidelity may be a conscious or unconscious act. It may have generated the best songs, the best books, the best movies. But the damage is done. He no longer wants the same, he doesn't feel the same, he doesn't look with the same eyes, he doesn't hug in the same way, he doesn't smile like before, it's just that he no longer trusts. How better it would have been to just be honest.
Andrea Andre
Social Communicator-Journalist
university extership of Colombia
Bogota Colombia.
Human Resources Management Specialist
Technological University of Bolívar
Cartagena Colombia.
